What Did You Say Your Name Was?

Who was that lady you met at the holiday party last week? Sharon? Sally? Sarah? Oh, right — Donna! Ever been there? Of course you have, and it’s always a bit disconcerting.

As important as names are, why do we often forget them as soon as we hear them?

The science of forgetfulness

There are reasons why, minutes after meeting someone, their name has exited your brain forever:

• You’re so preoccupied preparing to say your own name that you don’t devote any brain power to learning their name.
• You’re not all that interested and therefore not motivated to remember a name.
• Names go into your short-term memory, which doesn’t hold much for very long.
• Names don’t carry any meaning by themselves. It’s just a name and doesn’t tell you anything about the person or give your brain anything to hold on to.

Tips for remembering

Here are a few tricks to help you avoid that embarrassing moment when your mind comes up blank when you need to pull out a name.

• Repeat the name in your head, as well as out loud, as in “Pleased to meet you, Sharon.”
• Associate a name with something the person tells you about themselves. Rob is in advertising. Tom just returned from Portugal.
• Use word associations such as rhymes (Gayle is pale) or alliteration (Harry from Hoboken).
• Don’t be afraid to ask the person to repeat their name. “Names are not my strong suit. Could you repeat yours to help me remember it?”

Recovering from (or covering up) that embarrassing moment

It’s inevitable that every now and then, you’ll have one of those awkward totally blank moments when trying to dredge up a name. It’s usually best to ‘fess up, but you can soften it by using one of these quick quips:

• “I’ve had so much fun talking with you that I’ve completely forgotten your name.”
• “I’m sorry, I was so intrigued by your necklace, I’ve already forgotten your name.”
• “I’m so sorry. I’ve met so many interesting people tonight, I can’t keep all your names straight.”

Hint: Avoid the sudden coughing fit and exit for a drink scenario. You’ll likely run into the person again, and the ploy won’t work a second time.